Cell Phone Surprises
by Hunger4Righteousness
Summary: Megs had to give up Bernard's cell, but Roxanne gets him his own. And, well, there's all kinds of things an evil genius can get up to with a cell phone. Fluff and silliness!


"Oh, hey, I got you something." Roxanne held a small object in the air near her shoulder with one hand, a cup of cappuccino in the other. Perched on the edge of a bank of computer terminals, she tried to avoid tripping any of the mysterious switches and dials and buttons with her rear as they chatted.

"What is it?" Megamind's fingers paused in their flight over a keyboard. "What?" Then he recognized the tiny device she held, similar to the model he'd reluctantly parted with only a few days previously. She had made him tuck Bernard's cell phone back in his jacket pocket just before Minion had carted the unconscious man off to his apartment, and he was dismayed to find out just how much he missed the little accessory that everyone in Metrocity seemed to carry.

"Oh, Roxanne… what do I need with one of those inf_ee_rior devices?" Assuming a bored expression, he waved one long hand dismissively. "I could whip up something _far_ more impressive in no time. Just like that," he snapped his fingers but glanced over at it again. "That is, if I wanted to enslave myself to one of these… tiny tyrants like everyone else has done. Never leaving it behind. Dropping everything at the first little jingle." _Ooo! It's got a camera_.

"First of all, you don't hand out your number to just anybody. That cuts down the number of interruptions you have to deal with. And second… Well, I did already program _my_ number into it," she said, nonchalantly flipping the lid open. "But! If you're not interes-"

The phone was snatched from her fingers so fast, she found herself looking at an empty hand. He turned away slightly in his chair, hunching over as he punched rapidly at the buttons with his thumbs, the tip of his tongue poking from the corner of his mouth. She couldn't help but smile. _So cute when he does that_. Her own phone chimed as she watched him playing with his new toy. _I knew he'd like it. _She flipped her phone open.

THX ROX

Smiling she began to tap in a reply when the sound of another message being received interrupted her. A pair of pursed blue lips filled the little screen. Laughing, she looked up to see him watching her, eyes alight with devilment. _Oh boy, what have I started? _But she crooked a finger at him and in a blink those same blue lips from the screen were pressed against her own. "I like this kind of thanks better," she murmured once they parted.

"Mmm, me too," he agreed, pulling her closer and leaning in. "Coffee kisses, no less…"

Eyes closed, she relaxed under the influence of another melting liplock and missed seeing him glance aside and position the miniature camera to capture the moment.

* * *

><p><em>One month later…<em>

The pen flew back and forth, back and forth over the top of Roxanne's cubicle until she couldn't stand it anymore. Pausing in her work, she clenched her jaw. _I swear…_ "Boys!" she shouted to her neighboring co-workers. "Would you cut it out! If that thing lands anywhere near me again, I'm going to kill you both!"

"Fine…"

With a heavy sigh, she tried to return to what she'd been doing, but her concentration had already been broken, the flow of words interrupted. The day was a bust anyway. Nothing seemed to have gone right. Her alarm hadn't gone off, and the toast burned. Her cab driver was rude and overcharged her, and on top of it all it was her birthday. No one at the office knew the official date she grew a year older because among her colleagues were several serious pranksters whose shenanigans annoyed the hell out of her and whom she knew wouldn't pass up the occasion to pull some sort of crazy stunt like hiring an obese male stripper to visit her cube or filling all her desk drawers with shaving cream covered mouse traps. She'd seen it happen before.

But she did wish a certain someone would remember her special day and bring a little cheer to brighten it. _Oh well… must be a busy day for him_, she thought and resettled herself to continue writing. Then just as she began to find her groove again, her phone rang. Eagerly she flipped it open.

GUSS WHR I M

Next came a photograph of the inside of her apartment… and then a shot of her bed. _What is he doing in my bedroom?_ Quickly she tapped back her question.

ULL C

_Ok, I'm a little concerned, but… not like he hasn't been there before._ She tried to refocus on her work and was soon interrupted again. Glancing at the screen, she did a double take, her eyes popping open. Quickly she made a call.

"Megs!" she whispered hoarsely through gritted teeth, trying not to let her amusement show. "Stop that! I can get in trouble for having stuff like that on my phone!"

He laughed. "Who's going to see it? Unless you go around showing it off," he added smugly. "And I can understand why you'd want to. It is rather impressive."

Chuckling despite herself, she chided, "You know, you're a little lacking in modesty." She glanced at the picture again. "In more ways than one…"

"I always find that being in your bedroom loosens my inhibitions."

"Oh yeah? What inhibitons?" She hoped her co-workers were not listening in as she hissed, "And what are you doing in my bedroom anyway?"

The only reply was a low chuckle and a few smooching sounds drifting over the line. "I'll see you soon!"

She had set her phone back on her desk, smiling at his air kisses before she had an idea of her own. Glancing toward the door of her cube, she undid the top two buttons on her shirt and leaned forward over her desk, squeezing her arms together as she snapped the picture. _Perfect_. Pressing send, she quickly made herself presentable again, grinning like a fool as she waited for his reply.

I LCKD THE SCRN

Clapping her hands over her mouth only made the laughter snort out of her nose louder.

* * *

><p>GUSS WHR I M<p>

_Oh boy_, she thought, looking down at her phone again. _Where now?_ The photo that appeared showed a cupcake covered in fluffy vanilla frosting and colored sprinkles. One fat pink candle stood proudly in the center. "Awww!" The exclamation escaped her aloud before she could stop it. _Is he at a bakery?_ Another photo followed immediately. _A cartoon panel? …wait a minute. _

Quickly getting up, she leaned out her doorway and looked toward the clipped comics tacked on the outside of her cubicle wall. Bernard's face smiled back, one giant vanilla cupcake in hand. _Happy Birthday!_ he mouthed silently, knowing all about the prankster problem.

She pulled him in and smiled at the yummy treat, setting it on her desk in order to accept his hug. "Mmmm, thank you!"

"Now." He pulled back. "You may only have the cupcake if I get to lick the frosting."

"Megamind," she protested. "You'd lick the frosting off _my_ birthday cake?"

"No… " he slowly answered with a sly smile. "I didn't say off the cupcake…"

Laughing, she warned in hushed tones, "You know, it's bound to cause a few comments when people see the museum curator putting his mouth all over our hero's girlfriend." Feeling his arms shift behind her, she saw Bernard's face fade to the one she preferred far more. "Well, and now you're going to be mobbed by half the office as soon as somebody spots you in here."

He kissed her first, then pointed up. Above them, a lone brainbot clung upside down to a ceiling tile, appendages tucked in as it did its best to look inconspicuous. Roxanne frowned. "What's it doing?"

Calmly stripping off a glove, he explained, "Projecting an image of an empty cubicle down onto us." Then reaching over, he ran a bare finger carefully along the sweet treat's frosted top.

"Roxanne, could you-" Her boss stopped in her doorway, a sheaf of papers in hand. "Oh. Where'd she go?" He seemed to be looking right past and around the embracing couple, and then he moved on again trolling for another victim to assist him.

"Impressive!" she exclaimed quietly just as he dotted the tip of her nose with soft, white sugar. Blue lips gently kissed it away again before the loaded finger placed a more generous smear over her mouth next. Then he did his best to remove every bit of it, humming contentedly at his work.

"They _can_ still hear us, can't they?" she breathed when he pull away, licking his own lips and looking her over hungrily to see if he'd missed any.

He nodded then leaned close enough to whisper, "And I know how loud you like to be." She nearly danced with the effort of not breaking out in giggles at the unbearable tickling of his breathy voice inside her ear. Then to make it worse, she felt a soft stroke along her earlobe too. "So I guess you'll just have to hold it aaall in…" The warm lips enclosed her earlobe as his tongue slowly and thoroughly searched for every bit of the sweet icing he'd placed there. Squirming with the effort of being quiet she stepped back, but he only followed her closely until the back of her legs bumped the edge of the desk, blocking any further escape.

Roxanne bit her lip as he pressed against her and let his tongue explore where they both knew no frosting could possibly have gone. She griped his shoulders as a tingling began lighting up zones of her body that begged to have a turn at playing the game too, and then she felt the finger of sugary torment reach around her and gently decorate her other ear as well. _Oh man…_

Unable to resist turning her head with a grimace of pleasure to let him lick the frosting away from the other side as well, the vibration of his throaty chuckle against that sensitive skin was the most pleasurable kind of agony as she struggled not to make a sound. _He is going to be in so much trouble when we get home_. _We might have to buy another cupcake_. Then she spotted the rest of her birthday present beside her on the desk. _Well, why wait…_

Dipping into the fluffy confection herself, she reached up and made a stark stripe of white against the blue of his neck from his collar to his ear. He pulled back in alarm to see what she was doing just as she lurched forward and attempted to take it off again in one long lick. She felt him tense and paused to check her progress. _Didn't get it all… Sticky stuff. Oh well! Happy birthday to me!_

Megamind gritted his teeth as she tried again, sucking along the tender skin of his neck in measured bites. "Ohhh…" he breathed, his hands traveling down the length of her back as her mouth moved up. Feeling her lips nearing his sensitive ear and lingering there, his eyes rolled back as he groaned, "_Time OUT_!"

"What did you say?" One of Roxanne's neighbors looked over the top of the cubicle, but not seeing anyone there, he called to his friend on the other side. "Hey, Gary! She's gone!"

"Sweet," they heard. The pen flew in a graceful arc from one side to the other.

Roxanne was just about to tease him for being the first one to break the sound barrier when Megamind suddenly dropped a small mountain of icing down the vee of her blouse. With a startled yip, her mouth fell open. She mouthed a protest and shook her head, trying not to laugh. The pen flew overhead. With a taunting eyebrow, he nodded and lifted her to sit more securely on the desk. The pen soared above them again. Tense with anticipation, she clutched at the edge of the desktop as he dove boldly in, attempting to retrieve the sugary blob. Neither saw the pen fly past again or the little brainbot's glowing red eye follow it.

His victim squirmed as his hands moved to her sides, sneakily pulling at the fabric of her shirt, straining the buttons. A cut off squeak barely escaped the reporter as her boyfriend's tongue slid deep into the irresistibly creamy cleavage he'd uncovered, taking his time searching for the hidden confectionery. The pen flipped end over end as it passed by again, and the brainbot's eyestalk extended further, following its path with great interest. _Fetch?_

Megamind stopped to assess the situation as Roxanne silently shook with amusement and tried to gain control of her erratic breathing again. _Hmm, too far down there_. He reached to undo a button of her blouse, but she grabbed his hand in one of hers, eyes wide, and mouthed a silent NO! The pen clattered as someone missed a catch.

"Dang it."

"1 - 0."

Meanwhile the couple mutely hand wrestled, nearly snorting in their attempt to continue avoiding detection, until Roxanne reached down and swiped at the topping of her present. The pen flew past them as she quickly smeared a wide swath of white down one blue cheek.

Shocked, he froze and stared at her. Roxanne put the hand to her mouth, surprised at her own audacity, unknowingly daubing a bit of frosting on her lower lip. The pen arched above them. The brainbot's eye quickly followed it.

Megamind slowly picked up the cupcake and thoughtfully hefted it, then looked at the reporter narrowly, one corner of his mouth curving in the beginnings of an evil grin.

"Nooo!" Roxanne howled, just as the cupcake was rubbed down the front of her chest, and the brainbot dropped from the ceiling to grab the pen mid-flight.

"What the hell is that!" yelled her alarmed neighbor.

"AH!Hahahahaa…" Megamind laughed until a handful of icing was shoved in his mouth and then smooshed over his nose and forehead. Simultaneously he slathered the white mess all over Roxanne's neck as she shrieked.

"Oh, Roxanne, there you ar-"

The couple froze, green eyes and blue staring at her boss standing in the doorway of her cubicle. He looked from one to the other, Roxanne sitting on her desk, legs wrapped around her boyfriend, their hands stilled in the act of smearing each other with sticky, white, vanilla frosting. The poor man blinked rapidly as the brainbot dropped down beside them, the pen in its jaws. Her co-workers peeped over the tops of the walls of her compartment. No one spoke. Finally the bot dropped the pen at its master's feet with a happy 'bowg'.

Clearing his throat, Roxanne's boss tapped the tip of his nose. "You, uh… you've got a little…"

* * *

><p>"I'm just saying you're going to have to… you know, think twice about dropping by the office unannounced." Roxanne searched for the keys in her purse as they stepped out of the elevator.<p>

"Your work day is too long," he pouted, thumbs working rapidly on his cell phone. CODE: WER BCK.

"It's the same as anybody else's," she said, "except yours. You work 24/7." She heard his phone indicate an incoming message and briefly wondered who he was texting.

CODE: STALL.

"Well, I'm not _on_ all the time though." He watched as she dug through her bag. "And I miss you during the day."

She stopped her search long enough to grant him a kiss, just for being sweet. "Any more monkey business like today's though, and I'll end up losing my job."

"That was just a little birthday fun! It's not like I'm going to bring cake to your office every day, smear it all over you and… attempt to lick it all off again…" He glanced at her still trying to locate her keys. DLAY IN PRGRSS. He murmured, "Was kind of fun though, wasn't it?" She gave him a look of great patience but couldn't hold back the smile creeping over her face as well. "Can of Redi-Whip next time?"

"Megs!"

Laughing, he answered, "I'm just kidding!" Then he snorted and rolled his eyes. "And you're not going to lose your job. Trust me."

Roxanne looked up from the depths of her bag in alarm, narrowing her eyes at him. "Why…? You didn't threaten my boss, did you?"

"Of course not!" he assured her coolly. "Heroes don't go around threatening their girlfriend's bosses! All I did was _explain_ to him that _if…_ in future, he wants any more stories or interviews or anything at all having to do with _me_, then you _will_ continue to have a job," he finished in a smug growl. If she'd asked, he would have readily admitted he enjoyed throwing his weight around a little.

Roxanne sighed. "Megamind…"

"What?" He glanced at his phone. READY.

_Oh, nevermind._ She dug in her purse some more before giving a frustrated groan. "Where the heck are my keys?"

"Who needs keys when you have me?" Picking the lock, he turned the knob and paused for acknowledgment of his skills with a proud grin.

T_here _are_ a few perks to having a badboy-hero for a boyfriend._ Smiling, she leaned closer to give him his thanks as he opened the door.

"SURPRISE!"

* * *

><p>The cake had been cut and the song sung. Minion was happily playing bartender, being admired by adoring fans while several of the more reliable bots plyed everyone with trays of goodies. Wayne and a guitar were serenading a group of guests in competition with the ambiance from the stereo system which someone kept turning up. The small apartment was bursting at the seams, and although she smiled, Megamind could see the noise was beginning to get to his weary little reporter as he caught her eye from across the room. It had been a long day after all.<p>

Roxanne listened distractedly to a friend of hers retell what had happened at work, having had enough to drink already that she'd forgotten Roxanne had been there. "Actually, it was icing," Megamind interrupted, suddenly standing near her elbow. "Not ice cream. Could I see you over here a moment?" Pulling her away from the giggling woman, he steered her firmly toward the front door. Before she could question what he was doing, he looked around, pushed her outside, and closed it swiftly behind them. Roxanne's eardrums relaxed as the noise from inside was suddenly muffled.

"Thanks for all of this," she told him. "You went to a lot of work. I've never had one of these everybody-jumps-out-and-yells-surprise kind of parties before."

"You're more than welcome," he assured her sincerely. "Now let's get out of here."

"Out of here? They haven't even finished the cake yet. Wayne's victims need to be rescued. Even Sandra's still upright and barely slurring her speech."

"Mmhmm," he agreed. "The night's still young! But we have our own party to get to." Taking her hand, he led her to the elevator and refused to answer questions as they rode to the top floor then took the stairs to the roof. There she saw the jetbike that he drove at insane speeds with an overnight bag sitting next to it.

"So this is what you were doing in my bedroom." She picked up the bag and looked inside, lifting a thin strap on one finger. "All you packed was my bikini?"

Getting on the bike, he grinned at her mischievously. "That's all you'll need."

"I suppose that explains the picture too. So where are you taking me for 'our' party then?" she asked, straddling the bike in front of him.

"That's my surprise, birthday girl," he murmured in her ear as his legs tightened on either side of hers. "But we will be turning off all cell phones. And there _might_ even be a cupcake waiting for us there too." The engine revved, drowning Roxanne's happy laughter as they took off into the night.


End file.
